Wanting to make a difference

Hey lovelies! The boyfriend is back in Glasgow after being in the US for the past couple of days. Seems like he’s had a great time away. We crashed in bed just before ten last night and it was amazing, I slept for almost nine hours and with every sleep I feel like I’m recovering from the past weeks of being very busy. I’m right now just having my breakfast before heading to G5 with Faye and her mum Carole for a gym session and then for the rest of the day I’m just going to spend time with my man. I’m so excited!

Yesterday I was having a bit of a moment in regards to what I want to do with my life. I was speaking to Jamie whilst we were having a tea and coffee and I just felt so frustrated with life. I’m feeling a bit lost at the moment and I’m not really sure what to do. As it is right now I don’t feel like I’m enough. I don’t have enough time to do anything in my life properly.

With working full time I now am really struggling with getting good quality content up here on the blog, the thing that I love the most. I don’t feel like the things I write are good enough and I feel stressed when the content isn’t up when it should be. Some days I really struggle with even getting a post together because I haven’t even had a chance to take any form of images to even create a post. I then also have to spend time with Jamie, friends, cook food, keep the flat tidy as well as fit in my training. It’s a puzzle every week.

Why does this blog thing matter you might think? For me this matters so much because my purpose here is to help and make a difference. I want to help those who need that extra push to get going with their fitness. I want to tackle the fact that a huge chunk of us are unhealthy in the world. I want to show people that movement and being active and nourishing your body with healthy foods can elevate your entire life but as it is now I don’t feel like I’m doing that.

I know it’s something I’ve always struggled with, not feeling like I’m enough, that what I’m doing is enough. I even went as far as saying to Jamie yesterday that it sometimes would be so much easier if I didn’t care but as he then pointed out then I wouldn’t be me. Which is very true. I care so much about these things my heart aches that I haven’t found a way to best do this yet. I just want to make a difference. I want to show that fitness is so much more than an ab selfie in the mirror. That’s what’s actually important is usually not even visible in a photo. If you would base your happiness or success in the gym on whether you have a six pack or not, it’s not sustainable and I’m sad to see that’s what a lot of people seems to do. I used to have this idea of that if I had a wash board stomach I would have achieved my goal but it’s only the surface of who you are and what I later on realised is that doesn’t even matter. What matters is who you are and how you feel about yourself.

So now I need to figure out how to make this work. How do I best get time to write the things I want to write and still have time for everything else. I need to make a plan. This is perhaps not the post you were expecting today but this blog is a place for me to share my thoughts and feelings as well and hopefully by doing that, someone can maybe relate and feel like they’re not alone. I don’t know.

On that note lovelies, I’m going to love you and leave you. It’s almost gym time!

Have a gorgeous day,

M xxx

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