Heeelloo lovelies! How are you this fine Sunday morning? I’m not going to lie, I didn’t sleep well at all last night due to my cold. I was booked in for open gym today but have decided to be sensible and cancel my booking to have a rest. I honestly don’t know what to do with my cold. I’ve done everything I could possibly think of to recover. I rested for days when I was in Sweden, I’m eating all the veggies, drinking ginger shots, drinking loads of liquid and loads more but it just won’t budge. We’ll see how I feel after today’s chill session.
Anyway, that is not at all why I was writing this post! Yesterday evening I received a message from one of my gym buddies Carol who’s also doing Rainhill where it said congratulations on my seeding result. I had no idea we’d gotten our results as they’d posted several times saying they’d be posted on Sunday. Sneaky Rainhill people!
I threw myself onto my emails, saw the email, clicked the link and started scrolling. I had no idea what to expect other than I sort of thought I’d be in the same category Faye was, Rastrick. I scrolled and scrolled and got to female Rastrick and there my name was, not just anywhere, FIFTH out of 58 people in my category. What the hell? I did not expect that. I was absolutely over the moon and sent Jamie a million messages because he was at work and then continued to message Faye of course because she’s my gym buddy in crime. I couldn’t believe it. It’s crazy how a moment like that can make all the other moments of hard work worth it.
Now I know that this seeding score by no means guarantees that it’s going to go well on the actual day. Scores can change entirely on the day but I am still really happy it went well and it has given me a little confidence boost and motivational boost. At the same time I immediately started feeling pressure, from where and why? This is supposed to be for fun! Of course I’m going to feel stressed and feel pressure and some points but I don’t want it to take from the fact that this is something I love to do and should be fun and not stressful. I just need to continue reminding myself of that as I get closer.
I also felt a little bit anxious because I’m not feeling anywhere near that shape I was before Christmas with this stupid cold. I’m not felt this helpless when it comes to my health in a long time. Usually it clears within a couple of days and this has been going on for over two weeks on and off.
Why am I feeling anxious? I just want to give myself the best possible chance of doing the best I can at Rainhill. I’d be disappointed in myself if I didn’t. However, I might need to change my mindset and think that my best might be slightly different from what I thought it would be when I entered if this cough and sore throat continues. I need to think of my body’s wellbeing first and that should come before a competition. It’s tough when I am a competitive person by nature and I love the gym so much. Saying no to open gym today made me sad because I love going and seeing everyone and training. I love progressing and working on getting better and when I’m sitting on the sofa I don’t feel like I’m progressing or getting better in any way haha.
I’ve still got 6 weeks until it’s happening which is a fair amount of time. That’s what I try to tell myself anyway. So body PLEASE get better. I am so ready to get into competition mode and am so over being ill. I wish I was well so I could use this positive energy I’m feeling right not but hopefully it’ll stay with me until I next set foot in the gym. HOPEFULLY it’ll be tomorrow but we’ll see. I need to let whatever happens happen and I need to look after my body. Once I’m recovered I know I’ll give it my everything because I’m so ready to give it my all. I can’t wait.
Now it’s time to make a ginger shot and snuggle up on the couch with some tea. Not too bad either I suppose and hopefully that’ll be the right thing to do to kick this cold’s bum. Any other remedies to help me would be very much appreciated 🙂
Have a lovely day, M xxx