Mini meltdown

Hello lovelies! That’s me back in Scotland again! I met up with Faye for lunch as soon as I arrived in Glasgow because I was starving (when am I ever not hungry?!). Then I headed home to have a nap before the gym in the evening in the hope of getting some energy.

Rainhill have released the workouts for the competition (!!) so we now can start mentally preparing for what’s to come. So during yesterday’s class we tried out two of the Rainhill workouts to see what they were like. I thought they looked deceptively okay and yup they did look deceptively okay….

I knew to begin with this wasn’t going to my best attempt considering I haven’t been sleeping or eating as I usually do when I was away. Stella said “go” and off we went and oh my god, it was so tough. I struggled so bad, it was probably one of the worst sessions I’d ever done. I really felt in particular that my mentality just wasn’t where it usually is. Everything felt tough and whilst that’s usually the case that a workout feels tough, I just felt exhausted. Like I had no fuel in me to give anymore when I knew that I usually could. It’s frustrating because I didn’t want to feel this way for the competition, that my last attempt felt like hell.

Once we’d finished the first workout we swapped over with the other half of the class. This part of the class was when I really struggled. I just couldn’t give anything more. I pushed through but at the end when the six minutes was up I burst into tears. It was just too much and I couldn’t deal with it.

I was obviously exhausted and hadn’t had enough to eat during the weekend because I hadn’t eaten as regularly as I do when I’m home. This past weekend whilst it’s been extremely fun, has been non-stop with remembering all the information they were throwing at us and constantly moving and not a lot of time to rest. Plus the fact that I was stressed for the test and now Rainhill. I think it all just got a bit too much. Everyone at the gym were so nice about it and I felt a lot better after my little cry.

I got a lift home with Carole and Faye afterwards. Jamie cooked me dinner which was delicious and I ate until I was stuffed whilst watching Frankie and Grace on Netflix. That show is so funny. Then we went to bed early. I woke up today feeling a lot better. Still didn’t sleep for quite as long as I’d hope but my body needs routine when it comes to sleep and I know as soon as I disrupt it this happens. I’ll soon enough get back to normal.

I just wanted to share this with you because it’s not always easy when you have a lot of things going on in a short period of time and sometimes it gets very overwhelming. It’s okay to cry and feel down sometimes, it let’s the emotions out. I used to feel embarrassed or feel weak when I was crying when I was younger but it’s not in anyway a sign of weakness or something to feel embarrassed about. It’s just emotions and we need to feel them and let them out to let them go. At least that’s my philosophy in life. Once you’ve let them out you’ve made space ad feel so much better.

This morning I’ve just had a massive bowl of porridge, it tasted so good! I’m soon getting ready to go to Strong Mums. I think I’ll feel a bit better today. Jamie is off so he said we’ll do something nice and relaxing today together. I can’t wait to have one day off chill time then I’ll be back and up to my normal speed tomorrow.

Have a beautiful day, M xxx

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