Struggling to write this

Haha I found this photo from Rainhill, I’m not looking very convinced at all! The judge was explaining the final and this was my face at the time. This face is kind of how I feel today because oh boy, my arms are in agony from yesterday’s workout. When I got in for class, because I had already done the workout the previous day which was on the board, Stella paired Debra (who had also already done the workout) and me up to do a different one. Oh god it was tough, we didn’t even get through the entire workout in the time we had!

We had to for instance do 100 pull ups EACH and 100 hand release push ups EACH! No wonder my fingers, hands and arms can barely move for me to type this today.

I also managed to rip my hand in two places yesterday and then today, as if that wasn’t enough, the other hand ripped too. So I’ve got three open blisters on my hands, perfect haha. The worst is showering, washing your hands and cooking. It stings so bad and it’s obviously not ideal for 18.3 this weekend… I need to get some proper protection. The jaw grips I have aren’t wide enough and I always rip the area they aren’t covering and it’s really frustrating and painful to always got these bad rips.

Sorry, I really don’t want to complain but it’s just so sore! I just got back from another class this morning. I thought I would just get the class over and done with so I don’t have to worry about it this evening because Jamie has a day off today. The snow is finally gone entirely so life is back to normal here in Glasgow again so we might do something nice at some point during the day. He’s right now asleep but I think he’ll be up soon. It’s so funny how different our schedules and lives are when you think about it. Sometimes he pretty much goes to sleep when I get up.

I’m right now going through a difficult time and figuring out what my next steps in life are. A plan is slowly coming together but it requires big changes and truth be told, I’m so scared. I’m incredibly scared but also really excited as this is something I’ve dreamt about for so long. It’ll be a while until I can tell you what it is but I’m working towards it happening quite soon and it’ll change everything.

I right now struggle to feel purposeful and finding a job within the industry I want to work in and hopefully with this, I’ll manage to find what I’m searching for. The past couple of days have been tough because I’ve felt quite down and not myself at all. I’ve struggled to think positively and I’ve just felt really low. Everything has felt tough and pointless. I think it’s post Crossfit Level 1 and Rainhill, it’s now sunken in that I don’t really have anything going on at the moment and I need change and I need to do something meaningful. I love working, I’ve always loved working and the thing that is keeping me sane at the moment whilst figuring out logistics of my plans is this blog. Creating content here every day. I love it and thank goodness I have this space to create and write. I would’ve gone crazy a long time ago without it.

I know I’ll find what I’m looking for. It’ll just take time, a lot of planning and organising. Sorry I can’t be more open about what I’m doing but I promise, you’ll find out as soon as I’m ready to share. I feel a bit better today and I’ve decided to turn a leaf and have a better day today. I’ve had my couple of days to feel low and now I need to pick myself up and try again and push forward to get this all going.

Sorry this blog post wasn’t perhaps as uplifting as my usual ones but we all go through rough patches and I can’t sit here and I write and pretend that everything is okay when I’ve felt so low.

Have a beautiful day, M xxx

 

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